random musings on the life of ben.

2003-07-26T01:26:00.000-05:00

2003-07-20T01:17:00.000-05:00

i finally went to the lake yesterday with alice. we wanted to go to atwater park, but upon arrival there found out it cost money to go down to the water there. i was like, "when did it start costing money to GO TO THE PARK? hehe. we're going to bradford, alice. i don't care about the smell." so we went there and laid around for about an hour and a half. my back is all nice and red now. and my face has some more color. we tried walking along the water, but it was really gross and dirty and crappy and stuff. and big dead fish kept washing up. sick.

after that, i went home for a while and sat around before going to work. the usual security guard was off tonight so some other rent-a-cop was in "stopping shoplifters" (riiiiight). anyway, he was a failure. like 4 people stole things right in front of him. the manager was so angry. i've never seen him angry before- it was weird. he was actually shouting about how he hates thieves in front of other customers. but back to the rent-a-cop. he was obviously retarded too. he started talking to me about his children and stuff and then asked me if i "got kids." i wanted to fall to the ground laughing! it was the funniest thing anyone has asked me. i was like, "ahh- not until i'm married probably." funny.

2003-07-19T02:09:00.000-05:00

you know when you get into a really weird mood and you just do things you would normally never do? that's me right now. i'm in such a weird mood that i have started drinking pepsi right from the two liter bottle. sick. i don't even drink soda. i haven't had cola in like 4 years. weirdness.

2003-07-19T01:51:00.000-05:00

i got a ring for susie today. it's beautiful, and i know she'll love it. i'll be with her again in just five and a half weeks... another thing to look forward to. :)

the new shane and shane cd is so good. it's like put on repeat for 3 months good. they're going to be in minneapolis in november...across the street from i'll be living!

so my friend mai wants to marry her friend zacchaeus. lookie here:

ben frank 02: hey- i got a ring for susie today
Artsphreak: well, what is it?
Artsphreak: spill!
ben frank 02: it's an antique style ring with a diamond encased in beautiful antiqued silver design- fits her style
Artsphreak: that sounds lovely...
ben frank 02: yes, it is
Artsphreak: awww BEN. you're making me want to get married now.
Artsphreak: shessssssshhh
Artsphreak: i never cared that much until now.....:-P
ben frank 02: hehe
ben frank 02: everyone should get married
Artsphreak: well i will eventually. give me a few years.
Artsphreak: and a boyfriend.
Artsphreak: :-P
ben frank 02: just let me call z.
Artsphreak: haha....
Artsphreak: i'm kinda curious what you would say..
ben frank 02: maybe i should just write about it in my blog
Artsphreak: and have him read it?
Artsphreak: that's amusing.
ben frank 02: you could........maybe like have a printed version sitting in your room when he comes over
ben frank 02: or "accidently" put it in his bag
Artsphreak: haha...well....such a crazy plan.
Artsphreak: besides...i don't know...
ben frank 02: you know you want to marry him, mai
Artsphreak: haha...i like to weigh my options.
Artsphreak: i mean....what if i meet some dashing young man in campus crusade when i get back to western?
Artsphreak: well...actually i'm saying this all out of my butt.
ben frank 02: so you really do want to marry zacchaeus?
Artsphreak: :)

2003-07-18T17:16:00.000-05:00

grrrrrrr.
i don't wannna go to work. it's sooooo boring. five and a half more weeks. just five and half weeks.

2003-07-16T15:02:00.000-05:00

yey for talking on the phone with mai about relationships and marriage until 3 am. she's becoming a good friend quickly. i told her i want her to marry one of ther friends she talks about all the time and how, since the guy needs to be the pursuer, i'm going to need his phone number so i can let him know about how he needs to get going with mai. haha.

anyway, susie and i are getting married in a year! we decided on a date in july. i can hardly believe it. a year ago, i didn't even know her. God has been prepairing our hearts for each other though. she is everything i could have ever asked for in a wife. i've been blessed so awesomly! i can't wait to go back to school for so many more reasons now. ;) we'll be living in rez halls about a 15 minute walk away from each other, but i'm sure we'll still see each other a lot.

regarding school, i am only registered for 13 credits right now. i don't really know how i feel about that. i kind of want to take sign language, but all of the sections are closed. i may try going in on the first day to get a permission number, but maybe having a semester of just 13 credits would be a good thing. adding sign language would put me up to like 17. i do need to have some time to work... i've figured out that by the end of the summer i'll have money for my first semester books and necessary supplies for school, but that is about it. and i still haven't gotten my student aid report so i have no idea about how much financial aid i'm getting. if i don't get enough to cover the cost of school, i'm going to have to take out some pretty large loans. gross.

anyway, i'm hanging out with my brother today. which is very cool. we made pancakes this morning (well, this afternoon. we both got up at like noon). i think he may be the only person i really miss once i go back to minneapolis. well, i know there will be others, but nick especially. he such an awesome example to me of what God wants me to be. i'll miss the dude!

hey, you! yeah- you. are you bored? you should make your way over to the soulfire boards, join, and post. they're really fun. there's going to be a post off tomorrow. i'm a little bit excited. ok, a lot. :)

2003-07-15T02:52:00.000-05:00

Artsphreak: i mean...i was thinking about the mistake thing on saturday morning...i mean ...it was a bad thing...but i realized quickly that...really it doesn't matter.
ben frank 02: yep. eternity will be a bit longer than life here
Artsphreak: i like eternity...
ben frank 02: me too. it hurts my head to think about it though
Artsphreak: why's that?
ben frank 02: cause it's so- infathomable (sp?) to me
ben frank 02: eternity........cool
Artsphreak: yeah...that's make sense.
ben frank 02: that is make sense?
ben frank 02: are you sure you arent tired?
Artsphreak: nah. i'm not.
Artsphreak: it was a typo.
Artsphreak: i mean to say...that makes sense.
Artsphreak: hehe
ben frank 02: oh ok
ben frank 02: hehe
ben frank 02: this is why i didnt think you knew how to speak english properly
Artsphreak: yeah, yeah.....
ben frank 02: and i though you were special needs from the funny pic of you and nick at the lakefront
Artsphreak: haha...
Artsphreak: you mean the third of july one?
Artsphreak: yeah that one is kinda crazy.

2003-07-15T02:00:00.000-05:00

random. really random...

ben frank 02: the dtr was a good thing to do
ben frank 02: you should do it with all your guy friends, mai
Artsphreak: hehe....well then i would have a lot of dtrs. ;-)
ben frank 02: maybe...you're a good friend close sister that you can pseudo flirt with, heh
ben frank 02: or not
Artsphreak: hehe....
Artsphreak: i know.
Artsphreak: i'm flirty.
Artsphreak: sometimes.
ben frank 02: ben frank 02: cool
ELS99000: ty
ben frank 02: seriously? what is that?
Artsphreak: ohhhh.
ben frank 02: hes a new person at the soulfire boards im just confused
ben frank 02: and my font just changed...
Artsphreak: haha.
Artsphreak: crazy world we live in.
ben frank 02: does it mean anything?
Artsphreak: i have no idea.
ben frank 02: hehe
ben frank 02: i should put this in my blog
Artsphreak: yeah...random.
Artsphreak: *under random*
ben frank 02: what?

2003-07-14T14:41:00.000-05:00

VP ses 16: hey guess where I am
ben frank 02: where?
VP ses 16: Costa Rica
ben frank 02: oh yeah!
ben frank 02: awesome
ben frank 02: i was hoping you'd say something like milwaukee
ben frank 02: hehe
VP ses 16: nopw
VP ses 16: I am still here fr two weeks
ben frank 02: cool
ben frank 02: now, im retarded- but are you doing missions stuff there or what is the deal?
VP ses 16: no I worked with sea turtles for the past two weeks and the next two weeks I am doing an adventure tour with tons of fun stuff
ben frank 02: cool
ben frank 02: and see- i really am retarded
VP ses 16: no biggie
ben frank 02: :-)
“VP ses 16” signed off at 2:28:55 PM.

2003-07-14T12:57:00.000-05:00

something funny pastor brooks at oak creek assembly of God said last night during the sermon:

"...so we went to that...john- what was that called?" (his son john shouts out, "bastille days," from the audience.) "yes...bastille days. it should really be called drunken days. now, i am so happy i don't need to get my joy from a bottle."

2003-07-14T00:04:00.000-05:00

(slightly edited.....)

aim is life.

ben frank 02: hmm....XXX is getting drunk and watching some stupid movie with satan..err- his friend XXXXX
ben frank 02: i am saddened
Artsphreak: gross.
Artsphreak: that's not cool.
ben frank 02: yeah
Artsphreak: well...at least they're not in your room or anything
ben frank 02: yeah
ben frank 02: but....it smells the river outside right now so that stinks too
ben frank 02: :-)
ben frank 02: church was so good tonight though
ben frank 02: we had a real celebration, hehe
Artsphreak: awesome...
Artsphreak: crusade was good tonite too.:-)
ben frank 02: cool
ben frank 02: i love it when the sermons at church are like exactly what you need to hear
Artsphreak: awesome...what was the sermon about?
ben frank 02: and thats what it was like this morning and this evening
ben frank 02: hold on a sec
Artsphreak: okie
ben frank 02: ok
ben frank 02: i was on the tele with alice
ben frank 02: hmm- this is weird- im actually tired
Artsphreak: ah
ben frank 02: i could go to bed soon i think
ben frank 02: hehe
ben frank 02: but about the sermons today....
ben frank 02: the morning one was about "the golden rule" and how a lot of religions have a form of it- but they are all like "DONT do to others what you DONT want done to you"
ben frank 02: but christianity is "DO to others what you would have them DO to you"
ben frank 02: we're supposed to be proactive in our actions toward others
Artsphreak: ohhhh...that's very awesome.
ben frank 02: yeah- it was sowing and reaping- how you are going to reap what you sow....so that got me thinking about XXX and stuff
ben frank 02: and how if i want him to love i need to love him
ben frank 02: it was really good
ben frank 02: and then tonight's sermon was about rejoicing- how we are to rejoice all the time no matter the sitaution or circumstances
ben frank 02: which was another thing i really needed to hear and also realated to XXX issues
Artsphreak: very cool
ben frank 02: so im doing really well rojoicing in Him right now
ben frank 02: how are you doing?
Artsphreak: i'm doing really great. today was relaxing..i got to spend some time with God today and just think about things...relaxed all afternoon.....summer crusade was fun..they had this african-american paster from south minneapolis...who talked about racial reconsilation--how we should see each other as simply "in Christ" and not what color we are,....because we got a new heart.....then annies...which was majority fun tonite....oh i met your friend adriane tonite too!
ben frank 02: sweet
Artsphreak: susie introduced me...as "this is mai, she's ben frank's friend."
Artsphreak: haha!
ben frank 02: that's so awesome!
ben frank 02: i am excited to see them all again
Artsphreak: yeah...they're pretty cool...we had a good time yukking it up at annies....so what's this about you marrying susie so you can save money? ;-)
ben frank 02: hehe
ben frank 02: i think its a good plan
ben frank 02: but...we are going to buy a jetta now. not your car.
Artsphreak: score!
Artsphreak: yes.
Artsphreak: i can get a better price for it than $30 anyway.
Artsphreak: :-P
ben frank 02: i dont know about that....maybe ill still buy it and give it to my sister or something as a gift
Artsphreak: i just replaced everything on it..
ben frank 02: you're cool, mai.
Artsphreak: it's worth more than $30.
Artsphreak: thanks, ben. you're pretty cool too.
ben frank 02: thanks
ben frank 02: in Christ, anway
Artsphreak: for sho. :-)
Artsphreak: hey you need to convince stephanie to join the boards.
ben frank 02: i do!
Artsphreak: hehe...she's acutally looking at some of the posts now.
ben frank 02: sweet
ben frank 02: so, you have a fan club now?
Artsphreak: yep! stephanie is the president
ben frank 02: hehe
Artsphreak: it started with her campaigning to put my name twice in the hat so i would have a better chance of winning a gift certif to annie's
Artsphreak: then it went from there
ben frank 02: interesting
ben frank 02: but that didnt make sense to me
Artsphreak: how did you know i had a fan club?
Artsphreak: did steph tell you?
ben frank 02: yeah
Artsphreak: oh okay....what didn't make sense? how it started?
ben frank 02: yeah
Artsphreak: okay at summer crusade...we put our names into a hat...they picked out three people...stephanie suggested on her peice of paper to put my name on it...instead of her name...so i would have a better chance of winning
Artsphreak: so she put my name..
Artsphreak: but i put (aka stephnie) under it.
ben frank 02: sweet
ben frank 02: hehe
Artsphreak: hey. i'll brb
ben frank 02: ok
ben frank 02: ah- since you've been gone;-)for like an hour i'm just going to go to bed
ben frank 02: 'night

2003-07-12T13:12:00.000-05:00

Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.

I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?

2003-07-11T01:44:00.000-05:00

the funniest thing happened at work today. this one couple bought a gallon of milk and started walking away from the checkout without it. the customer in line behind them, a latino oakland gyros employee, decided he would help them out. "leche! leche!" he shouted. it was great.

2003-07-09T01:07:00.000-05:00

i got a really cool light kit for my bike today at target. there's a headlight and a flashing backlight. it's so cool. i got to use it on my way home from work.

sentry is such an easy job. practically no one who comes in spends more than $20 so you never really have to do any work. the managers are pretty cool too. well, except for the scheduling manager (who just randomly schedules you for whenever you aren't available). i guess i don't mind working there that much though. but i am still in need of another job. all of my money is going to rent it seems.

2003-07-08T01:02:00.000-05:00

too many of the guys i know here have bad cases of male pms. well, maybe it's only one or two people, but 'tis still quite annoying.

+ i had off today so i got to get some extra sleep.
+ i cleaned my room today and now it's all pretty.
+ lixx is yummy. i got a smoothie there today.
+ my new fan is still really cool.
+ i just detected mai mouth-breathing over aim. it made me smile.

by the way, my friend susie is just sitting around waiting for people like yourself to e-mail her at susieisawesome@yahoo.com. please e-mail her right now.

2003-07-07T13:46:00.000-05:00

a few minutes ago my brother and i were on the topic of weddings. "i'm going to be michael's best man," he told me. "cool," i thought. michael is his best friend and all so that makes sense. then my brother started talking about his wedding. "i told michael he can't be my best men because i have a brother." i just laughed at that and then said something like, "michael and i can be co-best men." i don't know where that came from. it's kind of funny though. my brother rocks.

2003-07-06T02:07:00.000-05:00

so i get home from work tonight to find about 15 empty bottles and cans of beer randomly sitting on the dining room table. no one was home (and it was near 1:00 am) so i called nick to see what the deal was. he didn't answer. twice. i called again at about 1:30 and he told me he was with tim at a party at a house down the street (and then also asked me about going to church in the morning). "well that's interesting," i though. i think i'm just going to go to bed before they come back. I don't think i care to know what was going on.

there are positives though:
+ tomorrow is my last day working at culver's until august (and i'm only working there a few days then).
+ tomorrow is church. i like church a lot.
+ i got a new fan for my room today and it actually makes it feel a lot cooler in here.
+ i got to hang out with mai today and yesterday.
+ i have leftovers from applebees in the fridge.
+ the mean boss wasn't at culver's tonight so i didn't have to do dishes.
+ i got to go shopping with mai today.

2003-07-04T03:02:00.000-05:00

i went to the lakefront fireworks today. my family sat right in front of the people i was with (mainly uwm crusade kids and oak creek people). my brother and his friends all talked about how they were going to beat up joey (my sister kim's boyfriend- they were both right in front of us too) since he's "such a punk." they were joking of course, but it still made me angry. none of them- not even my brother- know a thing about joey except for the fact that he is dating my sister. but apparently it was funny to joke about beating him. i've sort of gotten to know joey by talking to him on aim a lot. he's a pretty cool guy. it angered me to be surrounded by people- some of which i consider to be good friends- who found it necessary to talk about him without knowing him and to classify him by things such as his clothing (which isn't that much different than that of the people making fun of him). and don't even start to talk about joey's and kim's dating relationship. they have no model to follow. they have no parents telling them what is right and what is wrong and that possibly their relationship is not good (if it even isn't because, frankly, who knows?). and i wish my mother would settle down and love the boy already... it's become such a freakish situation.

so there's that on my mind right now along with 14 other major things, and i'm like, "Lord, why is this like this? and why isn't this that way yet- because i thought it would have been a while ago. and why is this person like that?" and lately, i've even been like the lost little kid at the grocery wandering up and down the isles calling out for his mother. it's like i'm wandering through the trials in my life shouting/crying out, "where are You, God? Father! where are you?"

i know He's here and that He's been here the whole time and the matter was just that my heart wasn't in tune with Him. or that there was sin in my life (shockingly) or something else. i just need to pour out my whole heart to Him.

there are quite a few different issues i need to discuss with some people that mean a lot to me too. i don't have the courage to do it. like with my brother- i'll tell him i want to have lunch with him tomorrow or something so we can talk about something but we end up just doing something else. or talking about something else. or we'll be in our own separate rooms across the hall from each other sitting in front of our computers talking to the same people on aim. i really need to start talking more about important things with him and praying with him on a regular basis...

but right now, i need to give up everything to God and just trust my troubles to the Lord of all creation. Father- i need you...

2003-07-01T01:41:00.000-05:00

it's july. how crazy is that?

i just remembered something i wanted to post about. i put money in the bank today (err...yesterday) for the first time in about a month. it felt so good to do that... i get paid more this friday (from two jobs mind you).

2003-07-01T01:17:00.000-05:00

culver's is not a clean place.

2003-06-26T15:01:00.000-05:00

now i want to be back at school...

i'm finally working! i got a job at sentry foods on oakland ave. and also at the culver's on the summerfest grounds. i'm so glad to actually have something to do and to be making money. i've been broke for quite some time. but now that i've tasted and remembered what work is really like, part of me wants to be back at school. i want to have a consistant schedule and to do something that makes use of the mind and not just the hands. i sure do get sick of things quickly. but really, i am so glad to have jobs.

2003-06-14T01:59:00.000-05:00

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship intimate
i find i’m moving to the rythms of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant

spread wide in the arms of Christ
is the love that covers sin
no greater love have I ever known
You considered me a friend, capture my heart again

2003-06-12T02:05:00.000-05:00

meh heh. that's all.

2003-06-12T02:02:00.000-05:00

sorry i haven't posted in a while... (the following copied from a random soulfire boards post of the thoughts keeping me awake thursday morning...)

i've really been wondering lately if i am where the Lord wants me to be (especially regarding where i am going to school/my major). i'm learning a lot about how i need to be finding my identity in Him alone- not in my school, not my future career (or job now), not what city i live in or the things i own. i really want to know what He has for me right away- maybe because i know it's going to be (and is) so good - i can see i have a lot more to learn about patience...

i could also be feeling the "need direction" deal because the people God has placed me among here in milwaukee, for the most part, know what they are doing with their lives. they have majors and real jobs and this "life experience" stuff. some of them have gone through college major switches and school transfering. i'm just beginning to see how that is a total asset to me.......

but back to the patience... i'm still wanting to know things right away. and i'm blurring lines between patience and laziness. plus i'm beginning to depend on people for material things.

but i know God is so good. and bigger than this all. and working through all this. and teaching me so much...

this summer has been so awesome so far. praise God for what He has done and what He is going to do.

2003-06-03T16:17:00.000-05:00

no, ben is not dead...

sorry for not posting for the longest time. i moved and stuff and did not have internet for quite some time. well, we did at our apartment but it was dial-up and i didn't have it on my computer (to lazy to set it up i guess) so i decided to take a break from the net for a while. we just got road runner though so i should be on a lot now...

anyway, i am living on the east side of milwaukee for the summer with my brother and one other guy. i've been having an awesome time so far. all of my brother's friends are really nice to me and i've been doing a lot of fun stuff. so far i've gone swing dancing, seen a few movies, sort of learned how to drive stick, played my guitar for the uwm summer crusade here, gone to the lake a few times, helped a couple of people move, started going to a great church, and also i went camping last weekend. it's been really cool.

i am still looking for a job though. i really need one. money is running low. i really think God is teaching me patience through not having a job yet. i am really learning that i need to be relying on Him for everything... and really trusting in His will through His time (which is so different than my time!). He has been so good to me all my life, but i still struggle with surrender.

anyway, tonight i am either going to my sister tracy's 8th grade promotion or to my friend alice's house for dinner (i helped her move yesterday so now i get free dinner!). time to call mom. i'll be sure to post again soon...

2003-05-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

hmmm... about 14 seconds ago there was a car collision right outside my window. this obviously suburban green late-model ford explorer decided to pull out of a parallel parking spot without looking. the explorer's front end hit the side of a gold madza 626. the drivers are now exchanging what could be insurance information. i think they may know each other. ok, now the explorer is not starting. ooh- it finally did and just drove away. hmm. the madza drove off too. how interesting.

2003-05-16T18:19:00.000-05:00

tomorrow is move-out day for me! i'm glad i guess- everyone else is leaving or already gone. plus i am looking forward to living in a new place. nick is awesome!

anyway, my dad and grandpa are apparently getting here around 11 or 12 tomorrow. i am giving a campus tour from 11-12:30, so i guess they'll just have to wait in the car or something. and then, the only check-out time i could sign up for tomorrow is 5 so i really don't know what the deal is going to be. hopefully john, my ca, will be able to check my room out earlier. i really don't want to be sitting around here forever. my grandpa is going to be driving- it will probably take a while to get to milwaukee.

time to clean. my room is a huge mess, hehe. it would help if i had luggage or boxes to put things in. oh well.

2003-05-15T01:01:00.000-05:00

well, i am done. i am done with my first year of college. i really don't know what to think of all this... i am relieved to be finished with classes and finals and that horrid paper for design thinking, but part of me wants to just stay here. it's just comfortable here. i had this talk with a couple of good friends already this week who seemed to feel the same way. i like my room, i like walking around to get places, i like being a student and am not ready to stop doing that for a summer. it's, again, just too comfortable here to pack up and leave.

but that's what i'm doing. in a couple of days, everything i own will again be put into the back of my grandpa's pickup truck and driven back to southeastern wisconsin. but i won't be returning to a place i have gotten comfortable at before. i'm going to be in an all new place again.

i don't like having a lot of major changes happen at once. i don't like having to change everything at the same time. i like little changes, but complete and total can be shocking.

i don't know if if i am ready to go out to the east side of milwaukee and have responsibilities such as rent. i don't know if i can go find a new job within a couple of weeks. life in the "real world" kinda scares me.

i can tell people, "God has it all under control," without even really thinking, but do i really really believe that? do my thoughts and actions reflect the fact that He holds the world in the palm of His hand and knows the number of hairs on my head? or what about the fact that His eye is on the sparrow? i really need to gives things up- surrender it all to Him.

2003-05-11T13:43:00.000-05:00

i saw the count of monte cristo last night. it rocked. i'll probably watch it again like four times this week...

monday night is my logic final. tuesday morning is my chemistry final. wednesday afternnoon is my landscape architecture final. saturday is the pick up day for my final grades for design thinking. i am also giving a tour saturday and then going back to wisconsin to move in with my brother.

i've got to do some major studying now. plus i have to call my mom and wish her a happy mother's day. and i haven't talked to nick in a while- i'll need to call him too. then i have to figure out my work schedule for this week. i can't wait for school to be done.

2003-05-09T14:34:00.000-05:00

classes are no more!

2003-05-07T13:18:00.000-05:00

carry me, Your love is wider than my need could ever be
come to me, and I will walk along Your shore
feel Your crashing waves sing in time with the music of my heart

come down, pour out on me
come down, pour out on me

river deep, could I know You as well as You know me
Constantine, will we travel faster, farther than these
legs could ever trustworthy be

come down, pour out on me
come down, pour out on me

-jars of clay "river constantine"

2003-05-07T02:28:00.000-05:00

things to be thankful for...

+ i got my admissions ambassador rugby today. it's cool.
+ i got to hang out with some ambassadors i don't know too well tonight- we ditched the ambassador party and had our own fun.
+ i realized i can use my coffee maker to heat water for tea- not having a microwave is no longer a problem (my roommate already took the thing home).
+ i had a lot of yummy tea today.
+ "tuesday dinner" was fun. as always of course.
+ kari let me borrow her nyquil and zinc. hopefully i'll feel better tomorrow.
+ the guys in my Bible study rock.
+ bowling with the Bible study tonight was fun.
+ mike z. liked the picture we got for him.
+ heidi (from dartmouth) sent me nice pictures.
+ i might go to uptown tomorrow. yea!

2003-05-06T11:50:00.000-05:00

okay- so i just took a shower. when i first went into the bathroom i was standing by the sink brushing my teeth- and anyone could tell by my appearance that i was about to take a shower (i was wearing just my boxers and had a towel hanging over my shoulder- plus i was holding my shower tote). so i was just standing there brushing when in comes one of the cleaning people. he sees me standing there (again, obviously about to go take a shower) and he just wheels in the mop bucket anyway. "what....?" i thought to myself. i wasn't about to go back to my room and wait forever to take a shower so i just went over and got into one of the shower stalls. i could hear him the whole time i was showering- he was just randomly wiping down mirrors and sinks as if it was no big deal a student was taking a shower feet away. it was weird and wrong and there should be rules against that i think.

hmmm. so i just read that and was like, "hey- that could be a susie story." hehe. by the way, if you have not yet done so, you should e-mail susie. really, you should. her address is susieisawesome@yahoo.com - plese e-mail her as soon as you can. she is anxiously awaiting her e-mail. susie is really cool, and you NEED to e-mail her. do it now!

shout out to adrine here- thanks for sharing the story about your friend with me. that's exciting! God rocks!

2003-05-06T09:41:00.000-05:00

sickness is no fun. i don't even know why i am sick. maybe from jumping in swamps friday night.

but anyway, it's the last week of classes! i have 5 lectures, 1 recitation, and 1 lab check-out left. i'm really happy to be done with class, but not so much with school. i am going to miss the activities- like real life and giving tours- a lot. i am really looking forward to this summer though. i'll be working almost all of it, but i'm excited to be living with my brother (in case i haven't already said that 7 times). nick rocks!

time to get some real work done...really.

2003-05-03T23:32:00.000-05:00

last night i participated in an underground railroad simulation. it was really interesting. the group of 17 people i was a part of walked/ran through a woods, waded through a swamp, and spent a lot of time laying low to the ground. although i knew we weren't going to "get caught" or anything, it was pretty intense at times. we were actually chased and fake guns were fired at us. it was, again, a very interesting experience.

after i got back (around 12:15), i took a really long shower to rid myself of the swamp smell and then sat around for a while. after my sitting for a while, i decided to do my laundry (it was pretty swampy as well). i didn't completly finish that until 6am. it was light out when i went to bed. i don't know what my deal is.

earlier today i went to target with mike and susie (susie is so much fun! we met her on the bus. it was funny- we got on at different stops because her rez hall is pretty far from the one mike and i live in. when she got on the bus, she looked frantically around to make sure we were on the one she was getting onto- it was funny). she had some pretty cool mullet sightings to share with us too.

i took a nap when i got back, then ate dinner with mike and aaron. we all decided we hadn't seen the matrix in a while, so we watched that after dinner. what a good movie. then there was some sort of a concert on a basketball court right outside our building so we went to check that out. there were about 12 people there total. it was fun to see live music, even though it wasn't the greatest. shockingly, we saw the president of our rez hall there. kid is weird. mike and i have been seeing him everywhere too.

tomorrow is going to be work day for sure. really, i am going to do work all day and get a lot of stuff done. i have too. the end is at hand!

2003-05-01T01:06:00.000-05:00

i like to listen. i like to sit back and hear about problems directly from the one going through them. i like to hear what they have to say about what is going on. they may have a totally different perspective than what i already know of a situation. i like it when people come to me to have me listen to them. it's nice to know that they want to talk to you- that they sort of acknowledge that you care.

i wonder if God is the same way. i mean, i know prayer (our talking to Him that is) glorifies Him, but is it like He is sitting around up on the throne just plain anxious about who will want to talk to Him next? does He "like" it when we want to talk? i present that maybe one could sort of think of it that way. He does ask us to come to Him (matthew 11.28) and we are told to present our requests to Him (philippians 4.6). plus He does love us (john 3.16)...a lot in fact.

i just talked for a while with a good friend about an issue she is working through/thinking a lot about. she instant messaged me asking if i could talk, and thanked me right away when i said she should come over. she thanked me again when she got here a few minutes a later and then thanked me a finally time right before she left as well.

"...with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." in the same way my friend thanked me a ton for listening to her, i think we should thank God for listening to us. except with God, the thanks should be 17 times greater or something like that. He is so awesome. He is always there ready to listen. be sure sure to thank Him the next time you talk.

2003-04-30T16:10:00.000-05:00

i had a mother of a chem test today, and i didn't study much for it. i was going to pull an all nighter with a friend so we could study and go biking, but we just went biking and then we fell asleep (i slept on the floor in her room- quite fun). i got up at about 9 am, biked to my rez hall, showered, got dressed, and then biked to my chem exam. i'm so weird.

in a bit i'm planning on going on a hike/walk (even though it may rain) with a couple of my "honors" friends (middlebrookers) at st. anthony falls. there are a ton of awesome walking and biking trails and really beautiful areas there. the mississippi is so nice here. sure, it has it's share of dead bodies, but still good.

i have one week of classes after this one. i am going to be leaving mn on the 17th and moving in to the east side of milwaukee. i'm worried right now about getting a job and having money for rent and my phone. plus I need to be saving for next school year. a long break from classes and meetings and studying will be so good though. i am planning on spending all free time reading at the lake. or sleeping of course. it should be good.

2003-04-27T19:13:00.000-05:00

the retreat rocked my world...

i got back from the crusade spring retreat about three hours ago. it was great (naturally- God is great). it was a lot more low key than the fall retreat- there was more time to meet and really get to know more people. the speaker was awesome. he was a uw stout student who had a lot of cool things to talk to us about stepping out in faith and having faith in God in regard to multiplication. i think the main thing we wanted to see happen within the group, a greater sense of unity develop, did at least begin to occur. i spent a lot of time with people i didn't really know, and really had a lot of fun. the funniest event during the retreat was when a car was "stolen" and moved to different area, and then the keys were planted on an innocent person. it was great.

i'm so tired right now though- i think i am going to bed at like 8 pm. i will try to post more about the retreat later or anything else that is going on in my life...

2003-04-22T12:32:00.000-05:00

susieisawesome@yahoo.com

looking for something to do? e-mail my friend susie (susieisawesome@yahoo.com). susie is cool. i just saw susie on the "campus connector" going from the st. paul campus to the minneapolis campus. susie sat behind me. it was quite exciting. e-mail her now!

2003-04-20T18:12:00.000-05:00

happy resurrection day!

i wasn't able to get home for easter- i had to stay here to work on a project for my landscape architecture class. also, i didn't find a ride and couldn't afford to take the bus.

my easter weekend ended up being very relaxing and quiet. i enjoyed it. it was nice to not hear loud neighbors at all hours of the night. also, i did end up getting some good food today. my friend vanessa heard about my not going for easter predicament and invited me over to her house (after telling me a huge lie about how she has 2 children- thanks van). they had yummy mexican food there. it was weird to not be eating ham. but authentic mexican is so good!

2003-04-18T15:04:00.000-05:00

...we ate dinner with sujo!

last night, crusade's regular real life meeting was canceled and a guest speaker was brought in. sujo john, a survivor of the attacks on the world trade center twin towers, told his story of "terror and faith" to about 300-400 students here at the u. what a powerful message. he talked about the horrid things he saw that day, the fear he experienced, and what it was like to be as close to death as he was. halfway through his message though, he turned it around and said that there was a much greater story to tell. the greater story he had to tell was of Jesus going to the cross to die for us. do go to his website and check out his story for yourself.

after the speech, susie, adrine, vanessa, and i decided to go to annie's in dinkytown to celebrate vanessa's birthday (happy birthday vanessa!). we got there and found out there was a 30 minute wait for malts so, being the unpatient people we are, we left and went to pizza hut next door. we go in to find sujo, his friend from ny, and a couple of other people associated with sujo's speaking at the u in some way (or not- we actually don't really know who they were or what they were doing). sujo was like, "would you like to sit with us?" and we're like, "yeah!!!" so we all ate pizza and talked about general things like how we accepted Christ as personal savior and where we were september 11th. it was so cool to be eating with sujo, i must say. none of us actually got to talk to him much during the dinner, but still, it was awesome. when we left, we shouted pretty much the whole way back about how we got to eat with sujo. what a sweet time.

totally not related here- but a new e-mail adddress has been established for my good friend susie. it's susieisawesome@yahoo.com - you should send something to her today. she's, well, awesome. and cool.

2003-04-17T15:46:00.000-05:00

i have really been lacking in the motivation department as of late. i've missed quite a few classes this week (including important discussion sections and even a lab), and i seem to just not want to do any work. i need to register soon but have no idea of what classes to take. and lately i've been depressed a little i guess about not having a major or knowing what i would like to major in. i'm not too good with making major decisions. i know it will all work out though. maybe that's part of the problem... i get too content where i am and stop striving to do better. i become really stagnant really easily. if you could remember to pray for me about this i'd really appreciate it.

2003-04-16T06:54:00.000-05:00

it's 6:40 am and i'm still up. why? i need to blog...plus i just got in not to long ago. :-)

i just had the most fun ever! i randomly road tripped to iowa. that's right, iowa! you see, kari's sister jessica is here for the rest of the week visiting (and she brought a car!), and she, kari, and i decided to just up and take a drive. i don't quite know if we decided to go to iowa before or after we got in the car or if we were even thinking of going anywhere far at all. it was just like all of a sudden we were on I35 south headed toward iowa. it was so exciting! we did the usual road trip things- lots of junk food, random stops to take pictures, doing weird stuff at random rest stops along the way. the three of us ate a whole package of oreos, a can of pringles, and a large box of dots. i drank probably 4 cans of vanilla coke. it was quite the hyper event i must say. the best songs were playing on the radio the whole time! we heard a ton of john mayer, david gray, dave matthews- basically good music was playing the whole time. i think i lost my voice singing along to pretty much every song at the top of my lungs. i also danced a lot in my seat. it was pouring most of the trip- i thought we were going to die for sure- but whenever it let up we would open the windows and let our arms fly...

what an excellent break from the craziness of this week. road trips are so good for the mind and soul.

anyway, it is now time to start getting ready for work and class. although i got no sleep, i am so ready for the day to begin.

2003-04-14T13:31:00.000-05:00

things like this make me somewhat ashamed to be a u student. some people really need to get themselves under control. the u must take drastic steps to ensure that this does not happen next year... i think it will though. students are going to attempt something "bigger than last year" from here on out.

today i have to write a 4-5 page paper on the design features that make a certain place memorable to myself. that is going to be difficult. i also need to go to st. anthony falls (downtown) and take pictures of different design features in the landscape. i have an eye exam at 2:30- i think i have pink-eye again. later, there is 3 hours of logic to sit through and then more spring retreat planning after. i don't know why i'm blogging- i have a ton of junk to do. i'm happy though- i got to talk to nick and my mom a little bit yesterday. plus last night was vespers and noelle came. :)

saturday morning, i had the opportunity to co-facilitate a group of seven smart sophomores at the northern stars leadership conference. it was a lot of fun. they all came to the u for the day, listened to speakers (who spoke on leadership), and then broke into small groups to discuss leadership issues. the students in my group were all very intelligent and motivated. i was impressed, and i learned a lot from both them and the speakers who were there for the day. it was exciting to see young people so ready to work toward making their schools and hometowns better places. i thought the conference would be a waste of time at first, but i'm so glad i went. ambassadors is really proving to be a worthwhile group to be a part of. i am really excited about having a positive impact on the people in the group i am building friendships with and even sharing my faith with them as well. opportunities are endless!

right now though- it's time to get on all that work i mentioned earlier...

2003-04-10T14:01:00.000-05:00

nutri-grain bars are so addicting. i've eaten at least 30 since sunday. i mean, you eat one and then just keep wanting another. before you know it, you've eaten an entire box. but you have another so you open that one too. 12 minutes later, it's also empty.

sad that the above pretty much sums up my week. not as sad as some people i know though. like people who spend all their time coming up with plans to make certain friends feel bad about calling people "weird".

i think i pretty much stunk on the chem exam i took this week. i missed two classes this week too (which is a lot for me). projects are piling up pretty quick. the end of the semester will be busy, i'm sure. i cannot wait for the summer.

the plan for the summer is to live with my brother, nick, on the east side of milwaukee (across the street from uwm). i'm going to try to get a job at uwm maybe, or maybe noodles and company. i'm so excited about living with nick. he's such an awesome guy. plus, glynn (nick's dirty slacker roommate) may be moving out. but yeah, living about 4 blocks from lake michigan will rock i'm sure.

+ run lola run is such a cool movie
+ tonight's real life
+ the weather this weekend is going to kick

2003-04-06T18:19:00.000-05:00

although i was not scheduled to do so, i got to give a co-tour last friday with megan (a girl from my ambassador small group). it was a lot of fun. all of the people taking the tour were from wisconsin, and one lady was really annoying. she had a gross wi accent and kept interupting when we were talking to ask stupid irrelevant question such as, "what do they have to eat at chipotle?" and she didn't find my opinion valid either. "well, you're just a freshman." megan is a freshman too, woman. what a freak. the other parents had no room to ask questions because she was up in the front saying stupid things and interrupting the whole time. but still, being an ambassador is a lot of fun.

i went bowling at coffman last night and then played some pool too. it was fun. after that, i watched pi with a couple of friends. that was pretty interesting. then we watched war coverage. i had no idea of what had been going on. i just heard of sars last night too. i feel so separated from the world and from real news.

anyway, i've been up to nothing today. hope didn't meet in minneapolis today (a lot of the church is on a retreat) so i didn't go to church. i was going to study chem with kari but we just ended up at target and then in her room watching friends. oh well. at least my time of non-productiveness was fun.

2003-04-01T16:42:00.000-06:00

i was supposed to give my first tour today, but that didn't happen. i got to the admissions office and there was this woman waiting where you sign in when giving tours who was like, "ben? um, yeah, you may be giving a transfer student tour today." i was like, "okay." and then a little later she was like, "ah- we have no transfers here today, so unless there are more than 10 people here to tour, you can just go." there were 3 prospective students there. sadly, some other kid got to do the tour- someone who isn't even an ambassador (what was his deal? i wonder). i was sad. i went to work then but got really bored, so i decided to leave that and get a grab and go lunch from the dining hall exclusively for the soda. i was depressed. i really wanted to test out my tour skills. that is why i became an ambassador. anyway, i'm going to look into options for being a tour guide and not an ambassador now. that would be cooler.

+ i just had a can of fresca
+ it's like 60 out!
+ dry bones dancing rocks
+ tuesday dinners start tonight

2003-03-29T17:57:00.000-06:00

i went to target today and saw quite a number of people i know on the bus there and there as well. it was interesting. i bought goldfish to refill dan's 2.4 pound box i almost ate my way through last night. i also bought audio adrenaline's latest: worldwide. it's really good. i recommend you go to audio's site to check them and the cd out.

oh my goodness!! i figured out how to do links within a message all by myself. i am so cool. later.

2003-03-27T11:59:00.000-06:00

it's raining today! i like it when it rains because it makes me think of europe (why i do not know). i like europe though, so i like rain too.

i stayed up all night working on the design thinking paper. i was out till late so that didn't help at all either. i don't think the paper was started until about 2 am. and then i kept nodding off and i think i was writing stuff in my sleep at times- parts didn't make sense at all. it would be like, "blah blah," about some building and the aspects of line in it's design and then the paper would just have randon statements like, "and that is why young people need to take a stand." it was quite amusing actually. my roommate liked it and said it sounded smart i think.

yesterday i got 2 rolls of film developed- i have an aps camera so it's usually a bit more expensive but then last night i decided to splurge and get the 1 hour and photo cd as well. yeah, it was $40 for 2 rolls of film. i guess i just need a digital camera...

2003-03-25T12:12:00.000-06:00

relevant rocks my world! i just bought a subscription last night and cannot wait for it to come. click the link to the left right away so you can experience relevance.

i just realized that i have a pretty big paper/project due thursday morning for design thinking. i'm supposed to have like pictures and diagrams and charts and stuff about a designed space on campus. i've got nothing. whipping something up about the mall area should be no problem though.

2003-03-23T01:58:00.000-06:00

i got back to minneapolis today at like 2 (that is, saturday at 2 pm). funny, i'm sure i was typing a bunch about this earlier today for the blog- i wonder what happened to that. i'm so retarded.

anyway, i almost got into a huge car crash on the way back. i was just driving along 33 on the way to 94 and i totally ran a stop sign at a pretty busy four-way in the middle of nowhere. i was thinking about something else or whatever (well, i'm used to riding the bus around and you don't really have to think about the road when you're on the bus) and then suddenly there's a stop sign. i knew i wasn't going to be able to stop but i pressed the breaks pretty hard anyway (yeah- was going 60 until i hit the breaks) causing the car to get into a bit of a skid. i was like 27 feet from the stop sign and going like 44 probably but that apparently didn't mean anything to the person to my right in the intersection. he started going. and then of course i didn't honk because i think honking in general is just rude- the thought of honking didn't even occur to me (which may be good because had i honked he may have stopped dead in my path...literally). but he did keep moving along and i just sort of amazingly swerved around him and back to my lane (on the other side of the intersection) and then was fine. i wasn't even that nervous. my mom was screaming through the whole thing though. she even woke kimberly up. "maybe i should drive," she desperately stated. "yeah. i think so." we drove off realizing that it was not yet our time to go. my mom was like, "the angels were protecting us" (whatever that means). i think she's been reading too many e-mail forwards. hehe.

we made it to minneapolis okay. kim, i think, thought it was a pretty cool place. i took her and my mom to chipotle and then we went downtown for a bit so they could see nicolet mall. i'm sure they both enjoyed riding the bus there, especially when they overheard people with different opinions about war and bush then their own. which is indeed a travasty in and of itself. :) it was fun though. i'm so happy to be back.

http://relevantmagazine.com is a pretty cool webzine (why can't i properly do links? this is bothering me!). i found out today that joey reads it too, which is super cool. there is an interesting article about worship in the God section and some interesting stuff about war in one of the other sections. check it out.

2003-03-15T16:26:00.000-06:00

well, i went on aim thursday after real life/after-life/movie with friends (it was like 1 am) and kari was on and she was like, "jessica is here. we're leaving soon." i was like, "crap. i guess i'm coming too." so i took a shower, threw a bunch of junk into a suitcase, and then left for milwaukee. there was so much stuff i didn't get done before coming home because of jessica's coming earlier. i had to skip class and an important shadow tour too. and then, once we got back to milwaukee, i had to lie to mrs. puza (along with kari and jessica) about how we got back and stuff so kari and jessica wouldn't get in trouble.

but anyway (sorry), i'm ready to go back to school. and i really don't want to work at pick 'n save this week. and i miss my friends. i mean, my family is cool and all, but there's nothing to do here. and i don't like wisconsin anymore. hopefully i'll see nick this week...

2003-03-13T11:52:00.000-06:00

well, i'm riding home with jessica- she's going to come up from milwaukee late friday, sleep here for a while, and then she, kari, and i are going back. i was going to ride with this random girl who was charging $20 each way and coming back at a really not good time (as in during class on a school day). i just called her though and told her it would be cheaper and more convenient for one of my friends to just drive here, pick me up, and drive back. that was funny- and it was the truth! i love it when the truth kicks like that...

2003-03-12T22:22:00.000-06:00

yey for the new noodle bowl at noodles! totally forgot what it was called, but loved it. speaking of that place, i've been there 3 times in less than a week. i'm addicted... the friend i went there with tonight and i had a big discussion about the differences between noodle bowls that require cutting and those that don't: the big thing is that if you are strapped for time you should get a bowl that needs no cutting- like the mac 'n cheese or the tomato mariana. if you want to sit down and really savor a bowl- and take as much time as you wish- you should order something like the indonesian peanut saute (my favorite) or the japanese pan noodles. that's pretty much how it breaks down.

anyway, spring break is next week, and i don't know how i'm getting home yet. i may have a ride back to milwaukee, but not back to school. my maybe ride home is not going back to school until the monday classes resume- and that's not going to work for me. i have to go home now too- i told my boss at pick 'n save i could work... which is really going to stink. i want to just sit around and do nothing. i'm sure my whole ride situation will work out though...

2003-03-10T12:59:00.000-06:00

switchfoot rocked! the quest wasn't so scary when there were actually people there. except when adrine, annie, and i almost died in the jumping/pushing area... :) still, even that was fun. "i dare you to move" is a song worthy of posting:

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistence
The tension is here
Between who you are and you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

awesome song. in the Biblical sense. which reminds me, vespers is now my favorite part of the week. about 3000 total college students from all over the twin cities come to one of the 2 sunday night services. it's so awesome to be in a room with that many worshipers raising their voices together to our Father. praising God rocks.

2003-03-09T14:03:00.000-06:00

friday and much of saturday was the admission ambassador retreat at camp friendship in annadale, mn. it was great. while the best part about it was getting away from the city and school (and my roommate esp.), the games and other activities were a lot of fun too. plus now i have some friends in ambassadors- and they rock! my small group is cool too. go undecidedes!

we got back from the camp around 4, so i just sat around wasting time and cleaning up my disaster of a room. then mike and annie and i went downtown to block e and saw daredevil. there's a student discount there if you show your school id so it was pretty cheap. we actually didn't know about the showing your id part- we had to go back to get our money back... the employee was slightly angered. the movie was pretty cool- better than spiderman i think. darker. more interesting. plus the guy was blind and his remaining senses were awesomely (not in the Biblical sense) heightened.

after the movie, we were all waiting at the bus stop and this very drunk man wandered up to us and talked to us the whole time we were waiting. he went on and on about minneapolis police questioning him about drugs just because of his race (it was so funny- he was like, "and i'm even dressed all nice tonight. don't i look nice? look at this shirt," and he pulled out this velvet shirt from under his way to big puffy jacket- and he was wearing the velvet shirt over a basketball jersey). he gave us relationship advice and advice regarding ethnicity- it was funny. he pointed to my friend mike and was like, "i don't care if you're black (even though mike is not black), white (pointed to me), or......asian (pointed to annie- very funny- he had to think about what she was for a while. he also kept saying to her, "you're a girl, you're a woman"). we were like, "yeah, it's good to respect all people." he was like, "i like you," to me, "you look me in the eye when i talk to you," as he stumbled all around. overall, very interesting experience.

today i'm going to see switchfoot downtown at the quest. hopefully the place won't be as scary today as it was the last time i was there. oh, and apparently you can buy tickets there. one of the guys in my Bible study did for the concert i'm seeing. i am so excited to see them though. plus i'm going with a bunch of cool crusade people. and then vespers is tonight too! what an excellent weekend...

2003-03-05T20:03:00.000-06:00

yeah noodles!!! i ditched the dining hall tonight and ate some real food... japanese pan noodles at noodles and company. so i was there today and also all over the cities. first, i went downtown to buy tickets to see switchfoot this sunday at the quest. that was quite a fiasco... the quest, at least the part of the quest i was in, has quite a matrix-like setting. it was really scary. i was the only one there and it was all dark and the people i finally found working there dind't know what was going on. interesting. after that i went to roseville with kari to return something to a store- we were able to add to our funny bus experiences list, hehe. nice. there was a rainbow foods at the trasfer stop so we went in to buy candy...and i realized i hadn't been in a grocery store since Christmas. but anyway, we bought candy and while we were waiting in line this guy behind us was like, "wow, you're buying toblerone! that's so good!" and i was just like, "oh, very good." and then he was like, "do you 2 go to macallaster?" "no, the u." "oh- that's so cool!" we were just like, "okay then, leaving now...bye." it was interesting.

2003-03-01T01:44:00.000-06:00

it pains me to see people searching for love and acceptance in the things this world offers. such as alcohol. they drink themselves to sheer stupidity and spend their night puking in a toilet or lying in a gutter (or the dorm hallway) and then they wake up hours later and don't remember anything that happened. and then they're like, "last night was such a party! it rocked!" even though it was the same thing they did the previous night and they actually don't remember any of it... drunk people make me so sad- if only they knew the fulness of knowing Christ...the joy He alone gives. things are going to give happiness for a season or for a couple of hours one night...Chist's love is going to last eternity.

sorry this is so sporadic...things just happen and must be written about right away. i'll try to post back soon...

2003-02-25T00:36:00.000-06:00

i'm so random. i have logic for 3 hours (sick!) every monday night with kari, and we get so bored we have to come up with funny things to show/tell each other in order to stay awake. so today- i came up with the clever idea of having kari cut my hair after class. i had been thinking about a haircut anyway so i decided to just go ahead and have kari do it. she thought it would be fun too so after class we went to her dorm and started the cutting. it was so much fun! at first i would hold the hair and tell her what to cut and stuff and then she would lift chunks up and be like, "this is no good here." by the end i was just letting her do whatever. i think its looks not so bad now- pretty short- but i think better than the shag i had, hehe.

but anyway, earlier this, that is monday, afternoon, i got to talk to my sister's friend joey for a while. that was pretty cool. he seems like a really nice guy- and rather un-high schooler too. which is good. it was kind of funny- i just got his aim screen name sunday night from kim- i first saw him come online today and was like, "oh- i should talk to him," but i didn't. but then a few seconds later he imed me with a big huge message containing quite a few random things or whatever and no punctuation and i was like, "whoa there- that's a lot of info at once," and he was all like, "oh- im sorry." it was funny.

2003-02-24T13:25:00.000-06:00

last night i went "vespers," an hour long worship service at bethel college every sunday night. it was awesome- and such a great way to start out the week. it's so awesome that our God meets us where we're at and provides our every need- physical and spiritual. totally amazes me.

+ no major assignments/papers due this week
+ got like 8 and half hours of sleep last night
+ got to talk to all of my sisters yesterday
+ had some yummy licorice!
+ i'm officially an admissions ambassador now
+ noelle is cool :)

2003-02-22T01:01:00.000-06:00

the jars of clay and caedmons call concert was awesome. they're both such cool bands. "worlds apart" by joc is such a cool song...

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
Additional lyrics:
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

must go to bed... i'm working for a friend at 10 am tomorrow.

2003-02-20T12:32:00.000-06:00

at sometime around 5 am i was abruptly awoken by very loud noises. "where am i? is that my alarm?" i thought for a second. "it's a lot louder today than usual." i looked up and saw my roommate walking around and talking to our neighbors and stuff... "fire alarm, ben," he told me. i climbed down from the top bunk and just stood there in my pajamas for a couple of minutes, the sound inducing a headache. "i am going to throw-up," i thought. got my coat, some shoes, a hat, scarf, and gloves and went outside. most of the 700 people in my dorm herded as sheep to the sheerers into one of the rez halls adjacent to us. i ended up sitting on the floor with a few of my neighbors for about an hour and a half. we all herded back into good old frontier at about 6:20, still without an idea of what had happened.

this morning i heard some people talking about a bomb threat or something and a "suspicious object" being found in our dorm. I was like, "yeah- whatever." my community advisor, john (who was on duty when it happended last night- poor guy! he had a lot of junk to deal with last night!), confirmed the bomb threat rumor to my roommate not to long ago. apparently there were bomb threats all over minneapolis and the u campus (well, i don't know for sure), but after the "suspicious object" was found, they decided to play it safe. it ended up being nothing though. i'm anxiously awaiting the letter we are going to be sent regarding the matter.

2003-02-19T21:46:00.000-06:00

today kari and i were like, "let's go to target." so we're at the bus stop and the 52R comes along and i'm like, "oh, totally have seen 52s downtown. let's take this one" (apparently waiting another 2 minutes for the 16 would have been too difficult or something). turns out, though, that the 52R goes to roseville (no where near downtown- but ooh! i now get what the R stands for!). so 15 minutes later we're at rosedale mall in roseville (it was so funny though- we were at a stoplight and i said something like, "that would be funny if the bus just turned right here or something." and the bus turns right.). so we got out at rosedale, waited a few minutes for another bus, and ended up downtown about 30 minutes later. it was funny.

+ since i didn't get to target, i didn't spend any money
+ talked to nina today about pizza discussions
+ my leg doesn't hurt- still weird- but it doesn't hurt
+ chocolate shakes are good- i had one for breakfast today
+ tomorrow is real life

2003-02-18T20:04:00.000-06:00

just got back from my admissions ambassador interview... i think it went pretty well. i had witty answers, i smiled and laughed a lot, made the interviewers laugh, etc. overall it was good. i have a ton of questions about the "job" now though, such as, do you get paid? that wasn't addressed and i didn't want to be like, "yeah- what are the wages?" so i have no idea. i would totally still be an ambassador if there was no pay though- it would be so much fun i think. especially the giving tours part...

2003-02-18T12:21:00.000-06:00

about two weeks ago i tripped (...getting unto the bus to my class on the st. paul campus...yeah- i'm a freak. totally wasn't expecting ice inside the bus...) and my right foot smashed into my left shin causing it to get all big and bruised and stuff. it hurt a little to walk on and stuff but wasn't too bad so i assumed it would just heal or whatever. but now it's quite a while later and the shin is still all messed. there is still a bit of a bruise, but, worse, the bone or something liked moved to the side. my left shin area looks very different than my right one- some bone is seriously in the wrong spot now! there's like a funny bulge where there should be a sort of concave line...i'm slightly concerned. eventually i'll get around to going to boyton for an x-ray or whatever. i'm too busy/lazy (yeah- lazy) to do that now though...

later today i have an interview for the position of admissions ambassador at the u. the job would consist of giving tours, helping with preview days, hosting prospective students, contacting interested people via snail and e-mail, etc. i think i really want the job. hopefully the interview goes well. :) i don't want to have to resort to working at the bio-med again next year- it's so boring...plus not convenient to where i'm going to be living.

speaking of the bm, i've got to go to work soon. see ya!

2003-02-17T01:41:00.000-06:00

yey for my new little counter thing on the bottom of this page! and yey for my links! there are quite a few things i don't know how to do yet, but i am doing pretty good here considering i've only had this about a day, and i've never seen html before.

homework, on the other hand, is not getting done. my landscape architecture paper is only a third of the way finished. the class is really interesting, but i have no desire to do any of the work. that's how i feel about a lot of my classes really. tomorrow- errr...today- is going to be busy. lots of class and a few appointments/meetings too. and there is so much else to do!

positives:
+ i had some really yummy jelly beans earlier
+ my paper will be finished soon- i totally have enough info
+ dry bones dancing is still really cool

2003-02-16T21:02:00.000-06:00

pastor steve's message today about really cherishing people hit pretty close to home. there are so many people, especially other guys in my hall, that i just don't love as i should. i wonder how much different my relationships with others would be if i loved the way Christ did. imagine if i loved all those i come in contact with in a completly unconditional manner. the thought alone is radical.

but anyway, awesome = getting to talk to my sister kim today. she's a high school junior. i love her. apparently her school (which is the school i graduated from) is getting "standardized dress" for the next school year...which is an interesting topic. she's doing well though- and surprisingly she has a pretty good attitude about the clothing changes for next year. :-) i think high school uniforms would have been cool. it would have rocked to have like navy blue blazers (suit coats?) with a cool little school coat of arms on it or something but then you would be allowed to have any sort of shoes you wanted (within certain guidelines) and any sort of book-bag and......

last night i saw minority report for the first time with a couple of friends. it was a pretty cool movie- but one of those i'm going to have to watch a few times in order to fully understand. hehe- the 2 girls who were watching were like, "okay- question time," at the end. i was just like, "yeah- don't even know what to ask questions about." still cool though. after that we watched city slickers 2. yeah, didn't enjoy that one so much, but had a lot of fun making fun of stuff in it. like the cell phone that was the size of a large shoe. hehe!

8:53. this means i have fab (frontier activities board) in a few minutes. it's a dorm meeting to decide what gets done with the money that frontier has. money from the student service fee. after that i have a landscape architecture paper to write, studying to do, reading, laundry, and more. Pauls letter to the Philippians is helping me get through though:

Philippians 4.11-13 "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

2003-02-15T12:36:00.000-06:00

initial posting. checking this stuff all out. excited about having a blog. interested in the implications of such a thing (like joining the blog world!).

so yeah, i realize that no one is actually going to be seeing this (except me) and that i don't know how to do anything cool (like adding links or changing stuff) but still, it's a starting point.

positives:
+ a free blog! shoot me in the face!
+ rose handing out yesterday rocked- a lot of people had their days made
+ the concert last night was awesome
+ dry bones dancing is awesome
+ saw beth from cru on the bus on the way back to school- got to talk to her for a while
+ my new converse all stars came in the mail
+ i'm going to talk to my family today :-)